Just like life, but with better music

As promised many... many... many months ago, here is a little video I put together in honor of Jacob's first steps. In all honesty, this was the first time I actually attempted to get the video off of the camcorder. I guess I have some work ahead of me for the rest.

Baby food... the next superglue

Ok, so it has been a while... so sue me. Just thought I would type a few words to let y'all know we are still out here. The boys are doing great. They are really starting to become little humans. Yes, for a while, I was starting to think that they were swapped with some sort of alien brood, but now it appears that they really are human... or perhaps they are just learning to act human.

Well, if that were the case, they didn't learn it from me.

Soon we will be visiting the Byers clan in sunny California. There will also be a large representation of the Danish clan as well, which will be their first chance to meet the boys in person. It is my hope they will continue to speak to us after that.

Would the human race continue if the truth was known?

Being a father has brought a lot of things into focus for me. One of the most prominent is the fact that I have been lied to by every parent that I have spoken to.

We have all heard our friends with kids say:

"It is so rewarding to have children. They are truely a blessing"
or
"Kids are great! Sure, they are a lot of work, but it is worth it!"

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but if I knew then what I know now...

So, I have come to this conclusion:

Parents lie to non-parents

This is not done out of malice, but rather a strange way that we naturally ensure the species continues. If we all knew the truth, I don't think there would be nearly as many teenagers on Montel saying they want babies...

Now some truth-

• Babies cry ... a lot. Not just a little whimper, but the kind of cry that makes your ears ring and your neck tighten. The kind that makes you look around for any glass that might break. When being carried, they also tend to point their mouths directly to your ear. I now understand why many parents respond to other babies crying: Post traumatic Stress disorder.
• Babies poop ... a lot. This is something I think we all know, but the truth is in the details. It is hard to believe that a purely liquid diet creates such a variety of defecation. Ah, and the smell is delightful. Very quickly new parents become connoisseurs of the myriad of smells a dirty diaper might contain. We will also not hesitate to hold the baby up and take a good long sniff. I am not sure why, because it is usually easy to tell. To make things more surreal, we coo to the babies about how good their poop is.
• Spitup. This is something that still surprises me. Why we choose such a benign word as spitup is part of the lie. If we were being honest, we would call it something like forced regurgitation at high speeds. Ok, that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but you get the idea. The babies also plan their attacks. You might think you are in the clear... they have burped, pooped, been changed, etc... but as soon as you are not paying attention BLEAH (that is the sound I feel best describes the action.) Suddenly, you, the couch, the floor, and the baby are covered in what smells like spoiled milk. What is most amazing, is the fact that somehow the bib the baby is wearing usually comes out clean. Go figure.

I don't want to make it sound all bad. There are those moments where you really feel like a parent and love your children more than anything in the world... it just usually happens when they are sleeping.

But, as an expample of contrast, here is a funny video that shows why we lie. This of course, is not one of my boys, but now that I know how to add video, I will post some for your viewing pleasure in the future